Anyone who has ever been through a full round of IVF will be able to tell you about The Two Week Wait. It's the period of time between the egg transfer and doing your pregnancy test, and its just rubbish. You spend every waking hour over analysing every little nuance that your body throws at you, and then suddenly, after weeks, or in my case months of hospital visits, bloods, scans, injections, medications, and complications like pneumonia, it comes down to one wee blood test. And there's just no way to describe the utter flatness of a result which tells you that your egg didn't take and you're not pregnant.
I don't know if the French system makes it even more brutal as you just receive your results by email so we found out whilst sitting in the kitchen at lunchtime. And that was it. "Négatif". Finished. Done. Literally months and months and months to get to this point. There are no words to describe it really. There's obviously disappointment at the result, then anger that my body can't do what it's meant to do, but then there is also the realisation (again) that William is indeed a miracle, and then comes a weird wave of relief that this chapter has finally reached a conclusion, albeit a shite one.
We will need to sit down with Dellis again and see where we go from here but it's likely that he will not want to try again. They pumped me full of the highest doses of stimulants possible and they still only got one egg. As Dellis says, they don't want to give couples false hope. So, it's likely that we're done now. We need to meet him in a few weeks time but for now, we will spend time processing this shit news and marvel at the fact we have William.
Lorna.
No comments:
Post a Comment